At what cost
My love,
I said I didn't want more but it broke my heart to say it.
I never saw you coming. An innocent message turned into daily messages I couldn't wait to read. Confessions and desires bonding our souls. With every word, with every I love you, we sealed our fate. But I'm a coward who lives in fear. A coward who's had to glue this heart back together so many times that now I'm too afraid to risk chances even with you.
Every part of me wants to drop everything and fly to you. To run to you. To never let you go. All I ever do is daydream of what your arms would feel like. You're perfect for me, but in the same breath you're not mine, you never were. You belong to someone else and if I had you it would only be temporary and I can't handle that. I'm selfish. I want to claim you. I want to consume you. I want to tattoo you on my skin. What I feel for you isn't temporary it's forever and that's why I had to break my heart. That's why ever since I said those words to you I haven't left my bed. Why I cling to your shirts. Why these tears keep running.
I won't eat. I won't laugh. I can't move. This hurts. I know you don't understand it. You're probably second guessing my feelings. You've already changed so many things that we shared and everything I've noticed and everything hurt. You're probably mad and that's fueling your distance. You probably won't look anymore. You'll probably forget me. I'll be the selfish, coward of a woman in a distant memory of regret. But I hope under it all you'll know the truth. That I think you're perfect. I love your smile, those eyes, I love the way you look at me. I love your body and your nose. I love all your ink and your style. I love your humor and your stories. I love your character and your bravado. It feels like you were made for me and I was made for you. I'll love you forever, I'll dream of you forever, I'll look for you forever.
I'll always hold on to the hope of seeing you one day when we can run freely into each other's arms.
I love you V.