u/7272peach

Sooo we both smoke weed and drink lightly but I know my bf had mentioned dabbling in hard drugs before. But never has mentioned doing it currently and pressed taht he did it not often. Last Christmas break I caught him sneaking a bag back into his wallet before a basketball game and I almost started crying because I felt lied to and I have very deep rooted trauma related to addiction—coke especially. He told me it was just because he had off work and he’s not addicted and he never promised to not buy again, but I thought I had made it very clear on my stance on this. Anyway a few hours ago I was looking on his phone and saw texts between him and a guy’s name I don’t recognize. I clicked the thread and he bought as recently as Wednesday… $175-$200 at a time. How much coke even is that??? I scrolled back far enough to see he bought around 1am from this guy while we were together at a friend’s house. In the text he literally says “I’m with my girl tonight so I have to keep it lowkey”…. I literally never picked up on any of this. Maybe I’m naive, but he’s hid it very well. I only see him on weekends usually so I’m sure that helped. Sorry if this seems long or out of touch. How do I even begin to bring this up, let alone explain how I found it?

TLDR: went thru long term boyfriends found and found text exchanges of him buying coke for weeks, including a night we were together. The grief and sadness hasn’t hit me yet.