I'm obviously very new to this sub and don't put a lot up on here so sorry if it seems like I'm just jumping in here.
I feel like I'm never truly going to be able to start transitioning. For context, I'm a 20 year old trans woman living in the north east and moving up to Aberdeen later this year for university. I've been looking into starting my medical journey but I feel like there's no point in getting a referral with moving to Scotland in a few months which will just start me over again. On top of that, wait times are so long, especially in Scotland. I've looked into private but it's so expensive and I can't afford it, especially with uni to consider.
I've managed to come out to my mum, who (understandably) was concerned for my safety more than anything, but that has made me scared to come out to anyone else. This is actually the first time I've ever said I am trans without adding a probably to try soften the impact, even though I've known for over 5 years now. I did try a few times to come out in college but it was mostly just brushed off and ignored so I'm also scared of that happening again.
I just feel like I'm forever going to be stuck living as a man despite knowing otherwise because I just can't get past any first hurdle, no matter how much I try. I've felt like I've just wanted to cry all day today because I feel like I'm never going to be able to live as my true self, but at the same time I feel like I'm just doing it to myself by not doing anything to start transitioning. I just want to get the ball rolling slightly so I know I'm on that path, even if it's only just.