I don’t know if I’m just lazy or if something is actually wrong with me.
For months now, things haven’t felt normal. I try to keep up with everything—studies, routine, even basic stuff—but it’s like my brain just won’t cooperate. I can’t focus properly, I forget things, and even when I sit down to study, nothing sticks.
What scares me more is everything else that’s been happening. I feel on edge a lot, especially when I’m alone. Sometimes it feels like someone’s behind me or watching me, and it genuinely startles me. There are moments where things don’t feel real, or I get this intense sense that something has already happened before (like déjà vu, but stronger and unsettling).
I’ve been trying to do the “right” things—taking meds, going for walks, hitting the gym, talking to family—but instead of getting better, it feels like things are getting worse. It’s frustrating because from the outside it might just look like I’m not trying hard enough.
At this point, I’m even traveling across state lines to visit a bigger hospital just to get this properly checked and get a second opinion. That’s how serious this feels to me.
I don’t know how to explain this properly to people without sounding crazy or dramatic. Part of me keeps thinking maybe I’m just making excuses or being lazy. But another part of me knows this doesn’t feel normal at all.
I just want to understand what’s happening to me and how to fix it.