First year attending in lower paying specialty. I've been following WCI/personal finance since its early days, well before I started medical school. My spouse (mid-30s) and I (mid late-30s) have tried to follow the "path" along the way (e.g. minimize debt, pay ourselves "first", avoid lifestyle inflation) and are very fortunate to have no debt. However, I can't shake an increasing feeling that we are "behind" and will be constantly chasing our "carrots" - e.g. buying a home, starting a family, reaching FI. Throughout residency I felt once I started as an attending I would feel more secure, yet I am feeling worse off now than a year ago with less income.
I would appreciate the community's assessment on where we stand. (Numbers are avg over last 6 months since starting)
Annual HHI: ~$300k ( $240k me, $60k spouse)
Net: ~$15k/mo after tax/403b/HSA
Cash (HYSA): $178k (E-911/housing fund)
Roth retirement (combined total): $160k
401k/403b (combined total): $112k
HSA (combined total): $13k
Joint Taxable Brokerage: $11k
Savings per month (E-fund, house, IRA fund, vehicle): $7,000 (46% net)
Fixed monthly expenses (rent/utilities/groceries/insurance/fuel): ~$5,500 (36% net)
Discretionary spending (restaurants, vacations, shopping, entertainment, etc): ~$2,300 (15% net, last 3 months closer to $1.7k, have tried to cut back after looking at our budget)
Beginning January of this year we are maximizing both of our 403bs and HSAs annually (last year we didn't max as only 3 months working after residency). Planning for backdoor Roth for both of us this year as well (saving each month as we don't want to take it all from HYSA now, maybe we should?).
We drive 2011/2012 vehicles, both with decent life left (5-10yrs). Saving for a newer vehicle for her in 3-5 years with no plans to purchase sooner unless an accident or catastrophic engine/transmission failure.
Home ownership feels unobtainable to us (presumably like many non-home owners in the US feel right now). We live in a M-HCOL coastal area with 3bd/2ba SFH running ~$750k-$1mil. Perhaps our wants (SF, 3bd/2ba, small to medium yard, 2 vehicle garage) are too narrow? I know geographic arbitrage would offer us more affordable options, but outside of work we both love living in our community and brings us satisfaction. I know renting is not "worse" than owning, but nonetheless it is defeating to know we've paid ~$200k combined over the last 15 years (avg $1,100/mo) to landlords in rent since college in addition to our rent rising every year/move we have made (medical school -> residency -> attending).
Objectively looking at the numbers, I realize we are doing ok and should be on track. Yet, I am becoming increasingly resigned we are chasing life's "milestones" without ever feeling we will achieve them.
Am I being unrealistic and/or overly pessimistic?
Edit: Appreciate everyone's thoughts, comments, and candid remarks. It has been helpful to hear of other's experiences, not as a direct comparison, but for perspective as I work through my feelings. Appreciate the community and it's on-going support for one another!