u/3rdCoastCrypto

I have noticed after my last session which was my biggest so far (150mg) troche, that my depression feels absolutely crippling today. Like profoundly worse than before. My anxiety is also elevated as well. Both are substantially worse than before the last session. Infact before this session I actually felt like I was feeling somewhat better in general.

Is this normal? Because I feel totally not ok right now. You know that feeling where you are on the brink of crying, I guess it feels like emotionally unstable, this is also something I’m feeling today. I do have a lot going on in my life currently maybe that’s playing a role but that hasn’t changed and like I mentioned before this previous biggest session I felt like I was actually starting to feel better.

Can anyone please tell me if this is normal or how long it lasts? Because it’s making me want to stop ketamine all together. I have read that this is “normal” after a session but the way I’m feeling today/tonight is quite awful.

I should mention that I have noticed sometimes the day after a session I don’t feel too good, like the depression is more noticeable. But nothing like last night/today. This is pretty bad. I suddenly just feel completely hopeless, scared, worried and just awful. I hope this is normal and only temporary.

I don't have an integration therapist, I just go through joyous. But i'm just wondering how am I supposed to integrate if there isn't anything to integrate? Im on 120mg currently, and when I do take this dose, I feel drunk, and if I mediate it can be a deep meditation, but thats about all ive gotten from it that I can tell. Maybe there are things happening behind the scenes because the next day after I dose I feel somewhat depressed/sad again.

Im just not sure what I am supposed to be doing at this point, or how/what to integrate? Or do I just continue dosing, and wait for changes?

Thank you!

Currently with joyous , I’ve worked up to 120mg over the course of a month~. Today was my second dose at 120mg and I’m considering moving myself up to 200mg, and not telling them. I believe doing higher doses less frequently would work better for me.

Wondering what sort of difference I would feel at 200mg vs 120mg? At 120mg I just feel really wobbly, and sort of emotional. I have yet to have real dissociation, atleast I don’t think I have had any yet?

Also wondering if I decide to up the dose to 200, should just hold saliva for 10 mins then spit, as opposed to holding until it’s all just gone like I do with the 120mg. I don’t want to overwhelm myself but higher doses less frequently just sounds better to me than daily.

Hello.

So I am about a month or so into my joyous journey. I started with 15mg and today for the first time took 60mg. I slowly went up 15mg at a time just to be comfortable with the effects. 60 felt pretty good. I think I could handle more quite well. I just want to know if the effects I get are normal.

This is my K ritual

I will light an incense

Lay on my couch with a blanket

Put some 8k nature videos with peaceful music on

Around the 20 minute mark I start feeling really relaxed and that wobbly feeling comes on (which I actually somewhat enjoy) 60mg was pretty wobbly and if I try to walk I jsut feel really off balance and sort of disoriented. Not in a bad way it’s almost like being drunk without the shitty feeling.

I will usually close my eyes around the 30 minute mark and just observe the thoughts and sort of meditate. Sometimes I’ll take off the mask and continue watching the nature video sometimes I just want to be in pitch darkness observing the thoughts.

I have had some closed eye visuals, mostly just shapes morphing into what I’m thinking. Behind my eyelids it looks like a lava lamp, but it’s not usually colorful it’s usually black and white but the way the light moves around it reminds me of a lava lamp.

I’ll have some introspective thoughts but it hasn’t been too deep yet. I haven’t had any profound realizations or WOW moments. But I will say the wobbly intoxicated feeling is definitely noticeable especially if I open my eyes. But it’s not bad at all. It’s just there.

I’m wondering if 60mg gives me what I described above, what would 100mg give me?

I go into these with no expectations, and I let the experience just be what it is. But it would be nice to have some feelings of connectedness and deep introspection and realizations. I enjoy the dissasociative feeling. Atleast I think I’m disassociating. I sort of just feel like my awareness has kind of unplugged from physical reality but I still know I’m in physical reality.

This all lasts for about 2 hours and then it’s done. There’s a slight afterglow but I’m basically back to normal 3 3 hours later. I will say I feel substantially less depressed and anxiety than I did when i started. But I was also micro dosing psilocybin 3x a week too so that has likely played a role in the reduction of depression and anxiety also.

Im excited to try 100mg soon.