21F. let me start by saying i used to be 180lbs in 2021(?) and i came all the way down to 135, but i was starving myself. i maintained being a little under 145lbs for a while by eating about 1,950 cals a day and taking 10k steps a day. at some point this kinda just stopped working for me. i started gaining weight that wouldn't budge, so i tried to start strength training.
this was in 2024, when i was around 148lbs. i haven't gained much strength (i still can't bench the bar but i can squat more, yay?), and im 153lbs now. my goal weight is at LEAST 145, to get my BMI in the healthy weight range.
in 2025, i averaged 10,700 steps a day for the whole year! im proud :,) now, in 2026, i go to the gym 2-3 times a week and my average for the year so far is 11,500 steps a day.
as for my diet, i know this is probably where i fumble the most. a majority of days of the week, im eating in a calorie defecit at around 1,500-1,700 calories a day. there's usually at least 1 day of the week where i opt to making my old man happy by eating a homemade meal from him, or i go out with friends to eat.
even if this only happens once a week, is that genuinely enough to ruin the whole week? i used to eat more every day and do less exercise. i'll be honest and say the calorie tracking has really effed me up mentally. is this somehow not enough physical activity? too much? even if my diet is the entire problem i can't wrap my head around how i can be eating less than i used to on a daily and be almost 10lbs heavier. am i stressed? is it sleep, is it hormones, is it depression, is it GOD?? advice (with kindness) would be appreciated