I built a tool to solve the “what should we even talk about before marriage?” problem — wali-first, Muslim-built, and people are actually using it
Assalamu alaykum,
A while back I quietly launched a small side project that’s been on my mind for years: a private premarital compatibility quiz for Muslims considering marriage. Built with the wali in the loop from the start, not bolted on at the end.
The interest has been beyond what I planned for, so I wanted to share what I’m seeing and ask for your honest input.
The idea was simple:
• Structured questions across the six areas that actually break marriages (deen, family, finances, communication, lifestyle, life goals)
• Both people answer independently, with a part 2 generated based on where they differ in part 1
• A report analyzing the differences with Islamic grounding and practical approaches — and the report goes to the wali too
A few things I’ve noticed in these first weeks:
- “What should we even ask each other?” is where serious Muslims get stuck.
So many brothers and sisters are doing the right thing — involving family early, keeping things halal, not dragging out the talking stage — and then they sit across from each other and freeze. They don’t want to interrogate the person, but they also don’t want to find out after the nikkah that they disagreed on something fundamental.
- Personalized questions reveal what generic ones can’t.
The Foundation covers priorities and values. The Deep Dive is generated specifically for your pair, based on where your two sets of priorities actually diverge. “Here’s a scenario about in-laws calling unannounced, given that one of you wants close family involvement and the other wants firm boundaries” — that’s where the real conversation starts.
- Islamic grounding is non-negotiable, and people feel it.
Every Islamic insight in the report is grounded in a specific verse or authenticated hadith from a rigorously vetted knowledge base. No paraphrasing, no making things up. When the report says “Islam encourages X,” there’s a citation right there.
The intention is just to build something that respects how seriously this decision deserves to be taken, insha’Allah.
I’d really appreciate your thoughts:
• For those who’ve gone through the talking stage recently — what topic did you wish you’d discussed earlier?
• Would having the wali receive the same report as you make the process feel more or less comfortable?
• Is there a category of question you think a tool like this must cover that people often skip?
BaarakAllahu feekum for reading, and may Allah grant all of us righteous spouses and barakah in our marriages.