Today, I (16m) got into a car accident that I admit 100% fault to (wasn't paying attention to a light, ran the red and got t-boned on the passenger side door).
The good news: nobody was seriously injured, and nobody had to be taken to a hospital. Everyone was a bit shaken up, but that was about the extent of it.
In any other situation, I would've probably handled it a lot better, but unfortunately, my boyfriend (16m) was in the front passenger seat, which I feel so awful about. We were both picked up and taken home by our respective families after the proper procedures were taken care of.
After we both got home, I apologized over text, and was replied to by him saying that It was alright, that he wasn't mad at me, and that he hopes that things will go better when we're out together in the future.
It's been maybe 5–6 hours since the incident, and I can't take my mind off of it. Every single time my mind drifts to the subject, an awful weighted feeling builds up in my chest, that or it almost feels weirdly hollow, like the whole thing physically took a chunk out of my chest. Either way, it feels like I ruined things between him and I because of my own stupidity and lack of discipline. I've had something I can literally only describe as a voice in my head since I was maybe 10 years old. Call it excessive conscience, call it whatever you want, but I can always hear it whenever I do something wrong, telling me things like "this is your fault" or that I "don't deserve what I have," things that would generally fall under the category of self-degradation. It's been 5 hours and it won't shut up.
As time passes, I just feel worse and worse and I can't figure out what to do to help me clear my mind and face the situation better. I feel like I failed as a partner, but more importantly I feel like I failed as a person. I don't know what to do at this point, and any advice would be greatly appreciated.
(Additionally, if you have any other subreddits you think I would find better support in, I'd appreciate if you'd direct me there so I can explain my story there and hopefully find some direction.)