West Springfield Season Strategy (leaked)
Hello all,
As stotesbury RAPIDLY approaches it is CRITICAL we prepare for a major upset.
As some of you may have seen, WEST SPRINGFIELD HIGH SCHOOL is nowhere on any of the predicted 8+ finals due to the state championship (6th in VASRA 1v) performance last week.
HOWEVER
This is part of a grand conspiracy meant to SHATTER the stability of the rowing world.
“Power” teams like “Whitman” and “St Joes”
are COMPLETELY UNAWARE that the mastermind of West Springfield coaching, someone who will remain unnamed, has been HIDING the true capabilities of the VARSITY 8, only letting it slip at Polar Bear Regatta (which they won).
The thought behind this, mostly pertaining to the mental complacency of “power teams” attempts to catch said teams off guard with TERRIBLE performance in the championship seasons and then straight RIPPING (1:25 split) off the start to fly past Joe’s and Whitman.
ADDITIONALLY
West Springfield is UNVEILING a COMPLETELY NEW lineup!!! The West Springfield Cloning and Selective Production committee has MOSTLY managed to hamper the pain receptors of the cloned rowers- fixing the “screaming in pain” issue which prevented them from rowing previously.
All of these factors WILL contribute to a MAJOR upset in the Stotesbury regatta AND BEYOND!!
WATCH OUT SCHOLASTIC ROWING!!!!!!!!!