For context: I am a DM for a group of three players: a Druid, paladin, and monk. We're all in college and started our campaign at the beginning of last semester, so it's been going on a while now. Our story is that our story takes place in a country where deities decide to watch over the land personally, and our party has been falsely accused for the disappearance of both the human queen and one of the said gods. Right now they're trying to get the gods here to notice them to see what they know, and they've already met with one.
So basically I just feel like my monk doesn't take any of my story seriously, when I put so much work into it. She consistently shows up ~45 minutes late to sessions and often just doesn't show with no notice (or she'll text us she's not coming... 45 minutes into the session) and when she is present, all her character does in game is drink, smoke, or flirt. And I don't have a problem with any of that stuff, but it's CONSTANT. Its made me dread having them go to taverns, because every time I'll have specific important information in NPCs that I want them to get from them but all we end up doing with my NPCs is flirting and asking to drink or smoke. There was once a talking door and before I could even say his riddle, she interrupted me and said "I kiss the door"
Another thing is we have to explain to her in every turn in combat how to play the game. I don't mind having a beginner player who needs help and stuff, but we've been playing for almost the full school year now and half of our combat is just teaching her how to play.
And remmber how in my little context paragraph I said my players had met one of the gods they were searching for? She didn't even show up to that session, even though I had made it very very clear it was a very important session that we had been building up to this entire time. And in that session, I had each character have an individual trial in their dream which was their final test from the god, and it really related to their character (ex: Druid had a vision of the wife he left behind, paladin had to fight an image of his former guild leader who he learned was corrupt in an earlier session) and i had spent SO long trying to figure out what i could possibly do for our monk because her backstory NEVER comes up unless it's for a "my dad owns Roblox moment"
And that's gonna lead me to talk about her character: she's a changeling ascendant dragon monk who has a charlatan background and is a former noble who lost her family's wealth but is still wealthy. It's okay to have an out there character, but I just feel like none of these parts fit together? Why is she a changeling? Why is she a monk? I know this problem is partially my fault because this is my first campaign to DM and I was new to it at the time of making characters and so maybe I didn't like put enough emphasis on WHY is she these things, but I don't know.
And back to the "my dad owns Roblox" moments, the party was trying to get into some mines during work hours and this guy wouldn't let them in and she deadass said "oh actually my dad owns the mines so we can go in." It was incredibly frustrating, especially because during our character creation she said that her dad was NOT nobility like the rest of her family, and he was a simple miner. Why does he OWN them now? Also, this is probably one of two times that she has ever mentioned her characters family or backstory. I just feel like she wants the story to be so convenient for her, and doesn't wanna have to struggle and try to solve things, which is like the whole point of the game. Another time, a character that was working with them betrayed them, and instead of just accepting it she tried to find any reason that him doing that didn't make sense, when I was really excited for the big reveal and that moment and instead it just made me feel really bad about my story and choices.
Maybe this isn't a big issue and maybe I’m actually the problem, but idk I put a shit ton of time an effort into this and story building really is a passion of mine and I've been absolutely loving DMing as a way to express that and I've just completely fallen in love with my world and story and DMing in general, but it hurts to see someone just not take it seriously at all. I wanna talk to her about it, but I’m worried she won't take that seriously either. And if she leaves, then we'll have only two players. So I really don't know what I should do, or if I’m being dramatic or anything.