Is being harassed by male students just something I unfortunately have to “get used to” as a new female teacher?
I (24F) am in my 3rd year of teaching. I teach primarily 13-15 year olds at the moment. I love so many aspects of what I do and I honestly can’t imagine doing anything else. I expected a lot of things to come with this job, but one things I never expected was how common, normalized, and accepted harassment is from students. I am a younger female, and entering the field I was met with lots of comments from adults such as “I never had a teacher that attractive,” “all the boys are going to be in love with you” or “hot for teacher.” These always creeped me out and felt so indicative of something wrong with our society. I couldn’t imagine anyone thinking of minors in those way and I was disgusted. Anyways, I tried to put it out of my mind. My first 2 years I taught younger grades with minimal issues. This year I moved to teach 13-15 year olds (which I absolutely love!) but was met with harassment from male students at a level I hadn’t expected. I’ve received everything from daily inappropriate side comments, to requests/prompts to make an only-fans, to consistent violation of personal space, to borderline stalking behavior. Admin seems initially supportive of stopping these behaviors when reported, but they often aren’t truly addressed. Others have told me to“be flattered they think you are attractive.” Ive even had fathers of kids cheer on their kid for having these behaviors towards me. That’s a literal kid you are talking about! Anyways, after dealing with incident after incident all year and responding with low emotions, reporting, and not engaging with the student…it’s all come to a climax with one student in particular. This student has done everything from saying innuendos to me consistently in class, leaving highly suggestive notes on my desk, sneaking into my room when I’m alone, finding ways to be near me constantly, violating my personal space, touching me without permission, making inappropriate comments, skipping classes to get into my room, and repetitively harassing me after I’ve explicitly told him to stop. The scariest thing is…I’ve never had a kid that seems to derive so much pleasure from other people’s uncomfortableness and pain. Every time I report him I’m met with practically no consequences. I usually just get told that he is a “scary kid” because he is “incredibly charming” when he wants to be but seems to hold no emotions towards others than a want to upset them. At this point I’ve just resigned myself to the fact that I’m going to just have to deal with him until the end of the year and hope he doesn’t escalate.
I love teaching and I don’t want to give it up, but is this something I’m just going to have to deal with every year? It makes me feel disgusting. I don’t want to think of these children in that capacity EVER. It is just gross and makes me want to rip my skin off. At this point though I just feel like it’s so normalized that I’m just going to have to deal with it and try my best to remain calm and unaffected.