u/113yu

while everyone take a side and argue on news, constantly getting fed of information and corporate marketing truly blinds me so much to recognize what might be actually good or bad. for example, i feel like distancing myself alot from my close family cause i feel exhausted from carrying such bitterness and anxiety. but some people on media tells me to move out, some tells me to communicate, i dont know who might be the people who actually be right or whos marketing here to make money off me. im very vindictive and shut down when things go into inconvenience, i dont know what might be an healthy emotional health having adult would do in such times. i feel overstimulated and stuck

i am the type to always try hard to get things my way, let it be love or studies ive always given my best. when i get treated unfair or dismissed or not chosen i feel so much rage. lately i felt like everything is going against me and im again finding myself work harder than usual but its been few months since i gave up on putting effort to feel better. i get rageful at life itself for being unfair, while others naturally receive fortune, here i have to derange my whole self to be able to atleast afford the bare minimum fruits of my effort. i no longer have hope it will be alright soon, nor i have any reason to protect my will. ive became very much hateful towards things and numb towards emotional experiences and i hate it. ive always identified myself as a welcoming being but being this unmotivated and hateful makes me destabilize and i have no clue what would help me