u/00Terrance

When I was 17, I begun to see the Angel numbers, I didn’t know that’s what they were called. First it started happening on my treadmill, everytime I got for a run, i would try to not look at the timer for as long as possible so I don’t discourage myself looking too early, and everytime I end up looking was 4:44.

At first I rationalized this as the body being a machine and right at 4:44 is when I just ran out of enough juice thay in my physical constraints I must look at the timer. That’s fine and all, I didn’t even bother looking it up, and then 6-7 month passed like this nothing, then right before I turned 18, I saw 4:44 else where.

First at the bakery I worked at, they were having a special sale of a slice of cheesecake and a small coffee for 4.44, then at the print outs my summer school teacher made for “printed at 4:44pm”. That is when I decided to look up what exactly 4:44 is, one day before my 18th birthday.

I put in 4:44 into Google, and outcomes Jay-Z’s 13th studio album, which he made because he was seeing 4:44 too, for him he would wake up at 4:44am, prompting him to make this studio album to express this phenomenon in some form. And then just perchance I checked the date, it was published June 30th, the same days some years later i was looking it up! My birthday is July 1st, one day after the album publications.

This drove me insane. I interpreted these deterministic patterns that seem obviously well-coordinated to mean that I am somehow more important I got a huge boost of ego to think I was experiencing the same phenomenon as Jay-Z and the likes. suddenly felt like I have a message to tell, so I sent numerous emails to my summer school teacher and classmates, the teacher showed my emails to the school counsellor and then the principal, and they decided to call the police to have me committed.

And now looking back, I know these are just some dumb coincidences, but I still feel like the world somehow contain these constraints that makes certain stimuli referential in their nature, like it refers back to the person seeing the stimuli like 4:44 being Jay-Z’s album. Finding that out in itself was a huge struck, and then the date i was looking it up did me in, because it was like some fated stuff. Like that level of coordination drove me insane. I have no family history of mental illness, and I don’t do drugs.