u/00Bunnygirl

Hi all, really need to vent and some reassurance please! I just found out i'm pregnant 5 days ago (30th April). According to the Flo app, i'm 4 weeks today. Ever since I found out I have been going insane. This is my first pregnancy so i have been researching and trying to find out more, while I was researching I found out about ectopic pregnancies, which worried me but I was able to calm down about it. The thing that I am terrified of now is a chemical pregnancy! i'm so afraid. I feel like i'm going insane, i spend most part of my day searching up stories and symptoms, i'm constantly checking my underwear for blood, right now its even worse because my predicted period is today (5th May). On the 27th April is when i first felt cramps, i had a feeling it could be implantation, on the 29th and 30th i noticed light brown discharge when wiping and thought it could be implantation spotting. Ever since the 26th i have had constant cramps, they feel so similar to period cramps!! Also today i've been feeling a little gassy and before my period this usually happens. Since today is my predicted period, even though i know i'm pregnant i keep doubting that my period will start or (chemical pregnancy). Im literally going insane constantly checking my cervix, discharge and underwear. I also have used 9 test strips to confirm i am pregnant and kept them to document line progression, also a Clearblue digital with weeks that confirmed i am pregnant 1-2 weeks. The lines have stayed the same faint positive since i first tested and that makes me even more anxious. I thought the Clearblue would reassure me and it did on the day but the next day i was back to doing the test strips again, i'm now at a point where i have ordered 50 more strips and 2 more Clearblue digitals!! I also forgot to mention that i am diagnosed with Anxiety so this is just making me go insane!! The only symptoms i've really had are Cramps, everyday that come and go throughout the day or when i make movements while lying down, earlier i had a sharp pain on my left for a while but it went away. Also on the 2nd May I woke up with my breasts feeling kind of tender and heavy with sore nipples if i touched them, the heaviness went away but my nipples are still sore to touch. I have been feeling a bit nauseous at times but i'm not sure if thats just me normally or the pregnancy. I have also been feeling like I have to take deep breaths all of a sudden for a few days now and i don't know if this is a symptom or if it is because as soon as i saw the positive i completely stopped vaping, so this could be maybe nicotine withdrawal or something i'm not sure. I tend to overthink literally every small detail and i always think negative first, i've been trying to think positive and been praying. I haven't told anyone yet, only my partner and he just tells me to think positive everything will be okay. I already self referred to the NHS about my pregnancy but I have seen that it will be weeks until they see me! I think i will definitely get a private reassurance scan but i'm not sure when i should, scared that it will be early and scare me even more. I just don't want to be heartbroken and disappointed, i'm already so excited and online browsing for baby stuff! This whole month i will be so busy and stressed with uni assignments, i just want the weeks so go so fast until i can see or hear baby. Does anyone feel the same as me? I just hope and pray that I will come back to this post in some weeks or months time and realise that maybe i was stressing for no reason at all 😞