u/-random-name-

Image 1 — Should I trade in Dirk’s Diggler?
Image 2 — Should I trade in Dirk’s Diggler?
▲ 9

Should I trade in Dirk’s Diggler?

I’ve been rocking Dirk’s Diggler for a while. It’s long, majestic and there’s not much not to like.

Tonight, this bad boy in the second pic popped into my life. It’s the first freighter in a while to catch my eye.

If I make the switch, I’ll have to grind out an S class. Dirk, surprisingly, took no grinding at all.

u/-random-name- — 5 hours ago
▲ 35

The short life and untimely death of a conjoined pickle.

I’ll start by saying I’m unapologetically anti-pickle. They small bad. They look gross. And they taste even worse. Be that as it may, I’m not a double pickle murderer.

I’m ashamed to admit my son loves pickles. I blame his mother. Between the two of them, they go through at least three jars a week.

Anyway, I made my kid a snack (as I always do) when he got home from school. Normally, I give him fresh, non-demonic fruit. Today, for whatever reason, I gave him a pickle.

When I pulled it from the jar, I noticed something different. It wasn’t one grotesque pickle. It was an absolute abomination. Two pickles fused together at the stem.

My son was irrationally ecstatic. It was sadly the happiest I’d ever seen him. He wanted to take a picture to send to his friends, but there wasn’t time. He had to get ready for taekwondo.

He left the pickle on the table, expecting to be happily reunited. The reunion was never meant to be.

When we got home, I soon heard a scream. “What did you do to my pickle!?”

“What’s wrong,” my wife the pickle murderer replied.

“My double pickle! You ate my pickle!” Extreme happiness turned to the deepest sorrow known to man. Or at least a 10-year-old boy.

He was inconsolable. My wife had eaten one half of the conjoined pickle, leaving its twin to die. He cried for 20 minutes straight.

Finally I told him, “Don’t be sad for the death of double pickle. Be happy for the time you had together.”

“Leave me alone” was his only reply.

reddit.com
u/-random-name- — 8 hours ago
▲ 12

I pulled this ship out of storage a couple weeks ago and for the life of me, I couldn’t remember why I named it Sasha. I don’t know anyone named Sasha. Just sounded like a stupid name.

Then as I was pulling out of a space station tonight, I randomly thought, “That’s a nice ass.” Grey ship. Nice ass. Sasha Grey has a nice ass.

Sometimes I crack myself up. Usually only myself.

u/-random-name- — 7 days ago