My partner refused to watch our baby for 15 minutes so I could take a shower
Hi everyone,
I’m writing here because I need to get this off my chest and maybe get some outside perspective.
Today, I asked my partner to take care of our son for 15 minutes so I could take a peaceful shower. He told me he had other things to do — marinating meat — and that he couldn’t.
I asked him if he could simply delay that by 15 minutes so I could shower, and then I would take care of our baby’s bath routine and make dinner for us afterward. Even then, I had to push and push, and it turned into an argument. He eventually did it, but he was clearly unhappy about it.
What hurts me the most is that he uses the fact that I’m currently a stay-at-home mom as a reason why I should be responsible for 100% of our son’s care. But this is our child. I’m on parental leave, not on leave from having basic needs.
For context, I’m still paying my share of all our expenses right now. It will only be once my parental benefits end that he’ll be taking over financially for us. So the financial argument doesn’t really apply at the moment either.
Since our son was born, he has never done a night shift, has changed around four diapers, has never given him a bath, and barely participates in any baby-related tasks.
I find it so sad. I keep trying to make him understand that taking care of his own son is not “helping me.” It’s being a father. But I feel like in his mind, because I’m at home, everything automatically falls on me 24/7.
I’m mostly hurt. I’m not asking for much — just to be able to take a shower without having to beg the father of my child to take care of him for 15 minutes.
Am I the only one who finds this deeply unfair?