I seriously hate myself atm!
I got the trifecta surgery for NTOS done 4 months ago. Everything is going well, yes it hurts like hell and it’s hard but I’m so happy I have done it because I already seriously improved in a lot of things!
I also started with physical therapy 2 months ago. Everything was going well and I improved almost after every visit! We did some things I got from the hospital but she was also massaging my shoulder from the back and that helped me a lot with pain and how far I could move my arm. She listened really good to me and was super careful. Always felt a little bit of sourness the day after but no pain nothing. Unfortunately she got a new job elsewhere so she needed to go but she promised me she would find a good colleague to take things over when she is gone.
Well today was the first day I went to that guy. He didn’t do the things she did and in the beginning I thought well there are different kinds of doing things, to stretch the muscles etc. Also he said at first he wanted to watch and feel what I could and couldn’t do. Well he did a lot… a lot of stretching in different ways but nothing hurts when it was happening. So I was thinking all well. Because my doctor kept saying nothing needs to hurt! But he did one thing when I was laying on my side and he sort of had my arm/shoulder in his hand and I just needed to relax and he was moving it. I got a sharp pain in my chest and almost felt like I dislocated something. He said it was normal, nothing dislocated it just ‘feels like it’. He took my shoulder in another kind of way and that feeling was gone.
After he was done it felt oke, didn’t had pain and it kind of felt loose.
But when I was at home for 2 hours the pain began. I’m literally crying. I have so much pain in de back of my shoulder, but also my spine around were they took the rib, it hurts so much! Also at the front everything feels extremely tight it hurts and even breathing is a bit difficult just like I had the first few weeks. Also have a very weird almost pushing sensation under my armpit/ribcage. I feel horrible! And I feel so stupid that I didn’t open my mouth and told him NO! I only thought wel ‘trust the process’, because I can be someone who can get mad/don’t trust things when it’s not going like normal. But I really hate myself atm for not speaking up, I’m in so much pain, my nerves feel like they are burning.
Tomorrow morning I’m going to call them about it because this is not oke. I trusted him and told 100 times things need to be extremely slow and he all knew that he said because otherwise I could flare up. He seriously got my trust with saying that.
I’m seriously mad, sad and anxious…
Sorry about my rant, I really needed to get it off my chest😞