i need advice about surgery
i’m looking for advice or really just a reality check. almost 2 years ago, i (24f) started having attacks at night that were like nothing i had ever felt in my life. i’d never really had any heartburn/indigestion issues so i chocked it up to that and started taking nexium, which did not help at all. online research always led to gallstones, but i thought i was too young to be dealing with that. i will admit, i did wait a long time to see a doctor about these attacks due to anxiety, but they became more frequent (from every 2 or so months to consistently once a month) so i finally got over myself and told my PCP. she ordered an abdominal ultrasound which showed “shadowing gallstones filling the gallbladder”. i was not surprised, and in fact may have been more freaked out had it shown that my gallbladder was perfectly fine. anyway, from there i scheduled a general surgery consult and met with a surgical assistant, who immediately recommended removal and scheduled the surgery for about 6 weeks out (may 14th). the problem i’m having is that i’ve never had any type of surgery, and i am absolutely terrified to have this done. i cancelled my pre-op checkup which then cancelled my surgery date, and now i need to reschedule. i understand that this is ridiculous of me, and i know this surgery is something that i need to do. every one of my attacks last at least 7 hours and consist of unrelenting pain and vomiting the entire time. but as weird as it may sound, i take more comfort in the predictability of the current pain than the unknown of surgery. this is probably just me needing to once again get over myself, but i am absolutely terrified. i also have an appointment tomorrow with a gastroenterologist, because i also have severe IBS symptoms which i was told at my surgery consult will not resolve after gallbladder removal. i’ve heard that IBS can worsen after the surgery and that’s also freaking me out, but that could just be me trying to convince myself not to go through with it. i’m not exactly sure what i’m seeking by posting this, but there is nobody in my life who has had these issues or understands where i’m at. so honestly any advice, personal experiences or even just thoughts would be greatly appreciated. if you’ve read this far, thank you. and if you are currently/have ever been in this position, i’m truly sorry. it’s nothing short of grueling and i wouldn’t wish it on anyone.