u/-IXN-

This desire for a man that can be simultaneously tough and soft makes them vulnerable to abuse through intermittent reinforcement which is really unfortunate.

It's their way to "cheat" the mindset they were raised in.

I'm aware that people are usually jealous of those who are honest with themselves since their upbringing never allowed them to be authentic. It's still not enough to rewrite that nagging inner voice. I'd like to have some additional advice on how to deal with this uncomfortable feeling.

If they're not the same thing, then what are the key differences between them?