Hi everyone! This is my first post here. I’m a FTM looking for help to optimize my LO’s schedule and resolve some doubts. Also, English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes or if something I write doesn't make sense.
- Age: 19 weeks
- DWT: 7:00 AM - 7:30 AM
- Bedtime: 8:00 PM - 8:30 PM
- WW: 1.5 / 1.75 / 1.75 / 2 / 2 (If the last nap is short, around 20-30 min, the last WW is usually closer to 1.5).
- Naps: 45 to 60 min each.
- Daily total sleep: 13h average (3.5h naps, 9.5h night).
- Feeding: EBF. 1-2 MOTN feeds around 1:00 AM and 4:00-5:00 AM. I breastfeed to sleep in these cases (20 to 30 min each, so I assume he is eating).
- Night routine: Feed, bath/diaper change, massage, PJs, say goodnight to the room, white noise, sleep sack, cuddles, crib. Short version for naps.
- Environment: Room sharing, pitch dark, white noise.
- Wake up time: eat-play-sleep (and repeat)
We started doing crib naps at around 10 weeks old with him fully asleep. Two weeks ago, we began gentle sleep training (Settling Pyramid, though comforting in the crib without picking him up is almost never an option). For the past week, we’ve been putting him in the crib awake, and he falls asleep independently 90% of the time. Naps can be "awake" or "drowsy" in the crib; on rare occasions, we do contact naps if the day is "hell on earth". It usually takes him less than 10 minutes to fall asleep unless we miss his WW and sleepy cues, in which case it can take almost 30 minutes.
We have made huge progress this month. Until he was 3 months old, he only slept in our arms or co-sleeping for survival (ours, he was fine, he didn´t know it though). One night, out of pure desperation and exhaustion, we put him in the crib and it worked (Yayyyy!!). Now I want to keep improving towards independent sleep for all naps and bedtime. My main concerns are:
- Sleep Needs & Schedule: I’m not sure if he’s getting enough sleep. He isn't usually irritable and doesn't have dark circles under his eyes, but he has had occasional days of 14-15h of total sleep. Is my schedule correct? Is he under-tired or over-tired? Will increasing WWs help consolidate night sleep?
- The 5:00 AM Wake: When he wakes up at 5:00 AM, it's almost impossible to get him back to sleep. My husband has tried settling him without feeding, but it doesn't work. After 30 minutes of trying (or two failed crib transfers), I end up feeding him. After that, he will only sleep if we co-sleep with boob in mouth or if he is bounced on a yoga ball until DWT. I need to fix this for my physical and mental health.
- Reducing MOTN feeds: We follow the 5-3-3 rule, but sometimes he has gone 6-7 hours with only one feed. Is there a way to consistently reduce to only one feed, or does it just depend on his own rhythm?
- Nap Struggles: Some days he fights naps and is irritable all day. I’m not sure if I’m missing his sleepy cues (I try to use a combination of cues and WWs). Could it be related to poor sleep the night before due to the early wakes?
A few notes:
- We might be going through the 4-month regression... maybe?? IDK... some days are a struggle, others are "normal".
- We know 8:30 PM might seem late for bedtime, but it fits our lifestyle here in Europe.
- We have decided we are not ready for Ferber or CIO (Cry It Out). Yet. We prefer to continue with gentle methods for now.
This is all I can think of with my sleep-deprived brain... and I'm incredibly grateful to anyone who takes the time to answer my questions.