u/----Gem

Residency is fine and I mostly enjoy what I'm doing, but I'm working primarily in windowless rooms all day and it's hard to really relax during the workweek, even when my hours are good. Every day is more or less the same.

My days off, though, I'm having so much fun going outside, doing hobbies, talking to people, etc. I feel like I'm basically watching the clock until I get to my days off.

PGY-1. This year has been going well, but this week I got slammed with a "performing well below the level of my peers" today by an attending I've worked with the past 2 weeks.

Normally, I've taken criticisms in stride and she put the criticism nicely, but she pretty much opened up with "I'm emailing your chief/PD about your performance". This attending has dropped hints pretty much immediately that she really doesn't like my performance in her specialty pretty much from the get-go. I'll admit that my diagnostic accuracy in this specialty is super rusty. I've only done about a week of it early on in the year and I was off to a bad start this rotation.

Academically, I've gotten somewhat solid reviews throughout the year. My worst evals and in-person feedback sessions have basically said "doing okay for PGY-1. Work on XYZ. Keep reading". Otherwise good/great reviews. I get my work done on time, I'm organized, always show up early/on-time, and participate in lectures/didactics. Did well on Step 3. Scored about 80-90th percentile on my ITEs. Nothing super concerning.

Behaviorally, I've received praise throughout the year. Attendings, residents, and support staff all really like working with me, and it has reflected on my evals and PD meetings. My mid-year reviews said if I have a deficiency, I've been known to work on it and get better. I'm not inclined to believe this is a personality issue or the attending has any personal vendetta against me.

I'm trying to approach this with a growth mindset, but I feel like this "I'm emailing your chief/PD" has me spiraling so hard. I wish she gave me more opportunities to prove myself before going this far. I'll be working with her about another 5 weeks and I wish she gave me just a little more time to catch up before casting judgement...

Anyone have any ideas on how to cope or can give me a reality check? Anyone been in a similar situation?