Theres nothing left for me
My father died when i was 3. My mother died when i was 11. My grandad passed away last summer. My grandmother was sick for a long period of time but refused to go to the hospital, until on her 79s birthday she asked me to call the ambulance. She was admitted to intensive care. She lasted a week. It was 5 months ago. My aunt took me to Germany. I'm completely alone. I have no blood relatives left. I don't know the language. I have no friends. I have no more goals. The only thing that holds me back is that I’m 17 and if I do something to myself, my aunt will have to bear responsibility for it. I want to wait until I'm 18, return home and end all this. But it will only happen in December. Every day is hell. I haven't spoken to my aunt in years, we have absolutely nothing in common, we're strangers. She took me in only because it was the right thing to do. I have no one to talk to. Even if i had, I'd probably didn't know what to say. I drink every day. I've given up on school. They found me a free psychologist. We have sessions once a week, but it's hardly full-fledged therapy. She often cancels appointment's. At our last meeting, she said that she would talk to my aunt about referring me to a psychiatrist. I really hope that she will be able to convince her. It's unbearable